Understanding Temperament
This is the 11th in a series of 11 blog posts about temperament. (Click here to return to the beginning)
Understanding temperament can be incredibly helpful for parents and caregivers. It helps us
to anticipate a child's needs
to help children develop insights into their own responses
to reframe how we interpret a child's behaviour
to identify the natural strengths … and lifelong challenges, facing each of us
Each child comes to us as a unique package with some traits that we may recognize and some of which may come as a complete surprise. When we understand that certain behaviours and responses are innate we stop seeing them as purposeful. The active child isn't being deliberately "hyper" - he has a natural exuberance that he needs to find positive ways of expressing. The cautious child isn't being deliberately "shy and unfriendly" - she needs time to find her way into making a connection. It becomes less about blaming and correcting a child than accepting them, helping them navigate, and teaching them the skills they need to find a comfortable fit for themselves within their families, classrooms and other environments.
Understanding temperament is not about excusing bad behaviour or failing to parent because "that's just the way he is". Instead it helps us to structure routines and spaces, and to choose the accommodations we want to make that will encourage each child to thrive and be the best version of his or her unique self.
Have a look at the list of books in the "Dealing with Feelings" section of this website. The characters in these stories exhibit the full range of temperament traits and provide great starting points for a discussion with your child. When we give our children the words to identify and describe how they are feeling we are nurturing their social and emotional literacy - a crucial life skill!
For more information have a look at the wonderful work of Nanci Burns and Nancy Rubenstein at www.takeyourtemperament.ca. They have developed a workbook for parents and children called Take Your Temperament! which guides families through understanding the range of temperament traits among family members.