Temperament Trait - First Response
This is the 3rd in a series of 11 blog posts about temperament. Click here to return to the beginning of this series.
Do you know someone whose first response will always be an immediate "no" regardless of the question?
This situation leads to a series of comic consequences for Jim Carrey when he challenges himself to override his first response "no" and instead answer "YES!" to every opportunity in the film Yes Man. (movie trailer below)
First Reaction refers to a person's initial response to new people, new situations, places, foods, or activities. It is distinct from adaptability which measures a person's ability to adapt over time. At one end of the spectrum a child may initially respond cautiously to anything new. They will then either warm up quickly or slowly over time. At the other end of the spectrum is the adventurous child eager to explore novelty.
Just as with each temperament trait there are challenging behaviours and positive qualities to each point along the spectrum.
At the cautious end of the spectrum
babies may spit out a new food and grimace, only to like the food upon familiarity
toddlers may cling to a parent in a new situation
children have trouble breaking the ice and being the first to form new friendships
teens may resist trying a new activity unless a buddy is involved
adults may prefer to observe from the sidelines until they have a had a chance to understand the dynamics of a situation
At the adventurous end of the spectrum
babies may reach out eagerly for new toys ... or what they think are toys
toddlers enthusiastically join in any activity going at the playground even with strangers
children eagerly anticipate firsts - like the first day of school
teens may be risk-takers and respond immediately to dares
adults will take the initiative and can often be relied upon to "get the ball rolling"
Cautious children will appreciate chances to role play new situations, breaking down scenarios into steps and having support and encouragement as they explore. It is okay to acknowledge and empathize with a child's hesitation and then to provide opportunities to have success at trying new things. Cautious children may need to practice using their words to politely express "no" "go away" and "leave me alone". Test driving new experiences with stories is also helpful.
Parents often appreciate the instinct for self-preservation that comes with the child who has a reserved nature. We sometimes label cautious children as "shy", "clingy" or "meek" but these are loaded and unhelpful terms. How about "careful" or "reserved"? that is ... if we need a label at all.
Adventurous babies are the ones for whom you baby-proof your home. And they will continue to need clarity on boundaries and safety guidelines. They are the children who will also most benefit from active street proofing - but be sure to encourage critical thinking rather than fear mongering. They are also the children who immediately fling up their hands in class only to find that they haven't yet got an answer when the teacher calls on them. "Stop and think" may become the parenting mantra for this child. Their outgoing nature makes it easier for them to make friends and enjoy the thrills of spontaneity.