Let's Talk About Temperament
This is the 1st in a series of 11 blog posts about temperament.
As any new parent will tell you, babies come fully equipped with their own personalities.
I would add that babies can even exhibit personality traits in the womb. We suspected that our eldest son was adventurous and musical when he responded rhythmically to his father's taps on my stomach. He is. We suspected that our youngest son was more cautious and cuddly when he curled up and retreated in response to the same stimulus. Right again!
Temperament refers to the innate personality traits that we are born with and which are observable and consistent over our life-time.
Temperament refers to the innate personality traits that we are born with and which are observable and consistent over our life-time. This "nature" is combined with "nurture" in our development. Nurture encompasses the way in which we are raised - the family, culture, peer group, education, environment and experiences that shape us.
Siblings nurtured the same way may have very different responses depending on their temperament. Children and parents may have temperaments that fit well together or their differing temperaments may give rise to misunderstandings, friction and frustration.
Temperament means that many behavioural tendencies are inborn and not the result of either bad ... or good ... parenting. This should come as no surprise to parents whose first child was so "easy" that they proudly thought they'd "nailed" parenting only to be confused and exhausted by their intense, sensitive and endlessly active second child.
Understanding your child's temperament helps you to respond to her in ways that are supportive and encouraging. It demystifies why your child has such pronounced responses. It helps you to appreciate rather than try to squash differences as you reframe challenging personality traits. It also helps you to understand your own innate qualities and how these interact - in ways both positive and negative - with your child's innate tendencies.
The nine temperament traits were identified by Dr. Alexander Thomas and Dr. Stella Chess, both psychiatrists and married to one another, in their book Your Child is a Person (1965).
The nine traits are:
| LOW | TEMPERMENT | HIGH |
|---|---|---|
| quiet | ACTIVITY LEVEL | active |
| gradual | ADAPTIBILITY | quick |
| focused | DISTRACTIBILITY | easily diverted |
| cautious | FIRST REACTION | adventurous |
| mellow | INTENSITY | dramatic |
| serious | MOOD | sunny |
| low | PERSISTENCE | high |
| spontaneous | RHYTHMICITY | predictable |
| reactive | SENSORY THRESHOLD | impervious |
It helps to think of each trait as represented by a spectrum of behaviour. We can place ourselves and our children at points along each spectrum and thereby plot maps of our own, our child's, and even our family's personalities. For e.g. When we look at “Activity Level” each of us lands somewhere on the spectrum between quiet and active. Our natural, and comfortable, position on the spectrum is unlikely to change much over our lifetime. However, each of us will learn behaviours that shift us temporarily a bit to right or to the left. The next nine posts explore each of these traits in more detail or simply click on any of the traits above to find out more.